Triad: A Three Way Love Story Read online

  As I am now the official Chaos accountant, I get special privileges. I still avoid Ruger like the fucking plague, but since I don’t have a car, I get driven to and from work on the back of a bike. I have full clubhouse access, and I honestly feel pretty safe there now since I am under their protection. None of them are stupid enough to cross Ambush.

  Bryce hates Ogre. Not so much the dog, but the dog hair and the dog drool that come along with him. I do my best to vacuum the rugs and furniture daily to keep the peace.

  I made Bryce drive me past the cabin at least once a week. He rolls his eyes at me, but never says a word and always complies. I saw Grey once. He was pulling out of the driveway on Lola. I wanted to jump out of the moving Prius and and chase him down but good sense took over. For once.

  Ambush keeps his personal life, aka Bryce, far away from his club life. Bryce on the other hand, makes it his job to know everything. I can’t imagine the post-coital pillow talk. They’re as different as day and night, but somehow it works. It still makes me laugh to think of Bryce as Mick’s step-daddy, then it makes me cry to think of Mick.

  I have a small office now and I’m soliciting customers to Triad Financial Services. I couldn’t bring myself to let go of the name or the dream. I am specializing in non traditional businesses, for example, the BDSM Sex Club that Damien owns. I have personally visited “The Dragon” with Bryce, who tells me that is where he and Damien originally met. I have to admit that I imagined myself on the stage, lost in a scene with Grey and Mick, with a room full of voyeurs wishing they could participate. I went home and cried myself to sleep.

  Damien rented the little downtown office suite for me as a birthday present. Bryce and I redecorated it on a very strict budget and the theory that everything looks better after some non-beige paint. My desk was an old drafting table with metal legs and a wooden top. We’d actually sawed off about eight inches to make it work, and polished it up with mineral oil. It ended up being a cool industrial look that we both loved The conference table and chairs we actually pulled out of a dumpster, well, I did, because Bryce doesn’t get dirty. A trip to the Salvation Army thrift store found us some decent frames and we blew up architectural photographs of buildings and bridges that we took with our cell phones.

  One of the other offices in the building was moving to a bigger location and they were more than happy to dump some waiting room chairs and a coffee table on us at no charge. Again, more hammered silver spray paint and some dark stain gave it a new life. Cheap green plants in mason jars filled up any blank space. Bryce was always happy to play the part of my personal assistant when new clients were coming in, and slowly but surely, that number grew. I had about twelve names on my roster.

  I was finally standing on my own two feet. I was also still hopelessly in love with two amazing men who didn’t seem to want me back. Damien said they would come looking. I wish I believed it.

  Chapter 30--Mick

  It’s been seven weeks and five days. Belle dragged me to the MC last night for some stupid party welcoming their new patches. I got totally drunk, drowning my sorrows in good whiskey and cheap pussy. I have no idea what the girls name was, just that she had long dark hair and was tiny, like Joss. She was humping my leg like a dog in heat and, just for a moment, I could pretend. For a moment I was rocking a hard on and was imagining myself buried inside of her. Too bad she opened her whiny ass mouth “you wanna do me baby?” and my dick shriveled up like a hot dog left in a microwave oven too long.

  I shoved her off and texted Grey to come pick me up. Belle found me while I was waiting out by the gate, “what the hell is the matter with you? Get over it. She dumped you. She’s not coming back.”

  I didn’t argue and I didn’t answer her. I walked out the gate. She was right.

  Even so, I rode out the next morning and went to the town where she grew up. I walked the rows of three cemeteries until I found her mother’s grave. I paid my respect to the woman that Joss loved and missed. I’m not much of a believer in God, but I said a prayer to her mom to please help her find her way back to us. I left a note under a bouquet of sunflowers that just said, “Joss--Please come home. I love you and miss you--Mick”

  It was worth a try.

  When I got back into town I rode past Chico’s Bar again. I knew he was there, his bike was parked right outside the door, as always. I parked this time, and even shut off the motor. I took my helmet off, but I couldn’t force my body to obey the command to get off and walk toward the door. Maybe next time.

  Chapter 31-- Joss

  I feel like shit. I’m tired and run down and I am sure I’m going to die from this broken heart of mine, which sounds like a bad country song.

  My newest client was in this morning and I was able to get him set up with a new system of tracking sales tax on his edible CBD products that would make it much easier on both of us during quarterlies. Bryce, my trusty sidekick, was the world’s best pretend personal assistant, and my client left happy, and impressed. To celebrate my PA had ran down to Starbucks to grab some celebratory Pumpkin Spice Lattes and a few muffins. Maybe the caffeine will pick me up a bit.

  “Latte for the boss lady”, he sang dropping a bag of muffins on my desk, “and we’re going out tonight!” Going out was the last thing I felt like doing, “Nah, I’m kinda tired. I think I’ll pass.” “Nope, not happening. Big Daddy’s off on club business so it’s girls night. You and me are going dancing. It’s drag night at the gay bar. No nasty old straight men hitting on you, just loud techno-pop and super-fabulous drag queens. Throw in some Margaritas and it’s sure to cure your broken heart.” I couldn’t remember the last time I went dancing. I pulled the little green stirrer out of my cup and took a long sip, savoring the taste, “Ok, when you put it like that I can’t say no.”

  For the next hour and the entire ride home in his Prius, he regaled me with stories of his friends and the characters I would meet at the bar. I have to admit that his enthusiasm was contagious, and the caffeine perked me up. I was really excited about getting out and having some fun.

  It was almost eleven before we got to the club. I had dusted off my favorite little black dress, which was only slightly tight from my broken hearted binge eating. “This makes the funbags look amaze-balls!”, he gushed, giving my tits a double handed squeeze. Obviously he was inexperienced where breasts were concerned and I squealed, “Jesus, that hurt!” He shrugged his shoulders and continued to dig through my closet in search of the perfect footwear. I found myself in bright pink platform stilettos that I had actually bought specifically to wear with a halloween costume several years earlier. I have to admit that they kinda worked together in this setting.

  The music was absolutely infectious and Bryce’s friends were welcoming. I loved how they razzed him lovingly for his choice of a boyfriend. I found myself really letting go and having the time of my life, even dancing on the stage with a few of the “girls” while sipping on a fruity concoction called a Pink Panty Dropper. Ruby Lipz, a drag queen who introduced herself as the “Queen of all Homos”, was teaching me proper pole dancing techniques. I felt like I was really getting the hang of it. Bryce snapped photos for Damien.

  It was about two am and the party was still pumping when some asshole on the dance floor blew his banana scented vape pen smoke in my face. My stomach clenched and I barely made it to the bathroom before the Panty Droppers came back to haunt me. They tasted oh so much better going down.

  Bryce and Ruby, followed me into the ladies room and held my hair back while I vomited profusely. I glanced up once, long enough to see the horrible look of disgust on Bryce’s face, which would have made me laugh if I wasn’t so Goddamn sick to my stomach. Ruby brought me a paper cup of water and I rinsed my mouth out, while sprawled out on the nasty bathroom floor.

  “No more Panty Droppers for you, girl”, Ruby advised me. “It wasn’t the drinks, it was the smell of that awful banana vape pen in my face. It hit me like a ton of bricks.” I took another cautious sip of w
ater. Bryce helped me to my feet, “Party’s over girl. Let’s get you home.” I hugged my new found friend Ruby and said good night to the other friends I’d made on the way out. The cool night air seemed to clear my head out and I felt a hundred times better once I was outside.

  Slipping into the Prius, I buckled myself up and relaxed a little, slipping my shoes off of my aching feat. When Bryce started the car and the air conditioning came on full force, I got a deep whiff of the air freshener clipped to the vents. Oh my fucking God, the smell of musk went straight to my stomach just like the banana vape. I threw open the door while we were still moving and violently hurled up the few sips of water that were left inside of me. Bryce slammed on the brakes, “Jesus Christ, Joss, you’re going to get your fucking head chopped off. What the fuck?” Bryce pulled over in a vacant lot and waited for my heaves to subside. “You must have the flu or a stomach bug, we can take you to the urgent care center and get checked out.”

  “No!” I protested holding my belly, “it was only when I smelled something funky, I don’t think it’s the flu.” Reality hit me like a fully loaded freight train. “SHIT!”, I jumped out of the car and went running down the street towards the neon “OPEN” sign of the twenty-four hour grocery, carrying my pink heels in my hands. Bryce left the car parked at an angle, and chased me down the street, both doors still wide open, “Have you lost your fucking mind? Joss! Joss, What the fuck?” he screamed at me from a few car lengths behind. The store was just ahead of me. The kid behind the counter looked at me like I was running from the cops, although I am sure he saw worse working overnights in this particular neighborhood.

  Bryce caught up with me as I stood in front of the meager offerings in the pharmaceutical aisle. I picked up all three pregnancy tests left on the dusty shelf. His eyes bugged out of his head, and he silently followed me to the register.

  “I guess that would explain a lot. The moods, the tiredness, the puking.” I nodded and paid the kid, praying that the tests were not out of date and would be accurate. Bryce took my hand and we walked back towards the car. I was still carrying my shoes along with the bag of three little plastic sticks that would tell my fortune.

  “Hold these”, I pulled out one of the tests and shoved the shoes and the bag at Bryce. I ducked into an alley between a Thai Restaurant and a Hookah Bar. “Are you kidding me? You’re going to pee here? That’s indecent exposure or something. I think it’s a felony.”, he hissed.

  “Not a good time for lectures. Just hold my shoes and shut the fuck up. Tell me if anyone is coming.” I pulled the package apart and didn’t bother with the directions. I’ve seen the commercials. I can pee on a stick, even drunk.

  I pulled my panties to the side and balanced on my toes trying not to tinkle on my own foot. I squatted in between two garbage cans and made quick work of peeing on the little pink stick, forcing myself to stop mid-stream, just in case I needed more for the next one. “OK, how long do I need to wait?”

  “The box says three minutes.” Since neither Bryce nor I had a watch, together we counted to one hundred and eighty using the tried and true “one Mississippi, two Mississippi” method. Neither one of us considered using our cell phones. Together we flipped the stick over and read the word YES!. It doesn’t get much more obvious than that. “NO! Give me the other one.” Bryce handed me another test and I repeated the steps. This time I definitely peed on my foot when I slid in something greasy. Fuck if it didn’t say “YES” again. Together we dropped our asses onto a bus stop bench and, together, we let the reality sink in.

  Bryce pulled out his phone. “What are you doing?” “I’m texting Big Daddy to let him know he’s going to be a grandpa.”The response was instant. He read it out loud, “Soonest I can be home is tomorrow night. Tell mama congrats. Call me if you need anything. Love you.”

  This changed everything. This changed nothing.

  Chapter 32-- Joss

  I can’t believe I’m sitting in an OB-GYN office with a Damien and Bryce, the oddest of odd couples. The walls are petal pink and adored with pictures of smiling cherubic babies in assorted sizes and colors. The 3-D model sitting on the stylish end table shows a fully developed fetus snugly nesting inside an enormously stretched out uterus. It’s making Bryce uncomfortable, which strikes me as funny. I tend to laugh inappropriately when I’m nervous, and, boy howdy, am I a nervous wreck.

  Damien has removed his kutte, which, unto itself, is nothing short of a miracle. He’s wearing a black AC/DC t-shirt but his full arm-sleeves of tatted on skulls and bikes do absolutely nothing to hide his heritage. One very pregnant lady even moved to the other side of the room, cradling her big belly protectively.

  Shit, Jesus, Son of a Bitch, I was going to have one of those! My leg twitches uncontrollably, bouncing up and down. Damien casually reached over and put his hand on my knee, squeezing reassuringly.

  “Hamilton?”, the nurse announced. She was wearing pink scrubs that were almost the same color as the walls and a white jacket with pink and blue bunnies all over it. I stood up and the boys followed. I found it comforting that I wasn’t alone.

  We stopped at a scale first. Great. Just great. It turns out that I had already gained about eight pounds, which didn’t seem too bad considering all of the late night, clandestine ice cream feasts I had alone in my lonely bed.

  “Ok, Mama. I need you to pee in this cup for me.” She wrote my name with sharpie on the little plastic jar and pointed towards the ladies room. “Hold my purse. I can handle this one on my own,” I advised my moral support team. The nurse hadn’t specified how much pee I needed. Is a trickle enough or does she need the whole jar? I compromised and filled to what I figured was about half and screwed on the blue lid. I wrapped it a paper towel and washed my hands. She was waiting for me when I unlocked the door.

  “Good job Mama.” Seriously? Good job? I peed for christ sake.

  She opened the door to exam room one and followed her in. “Today is just preliminary. No need to get undressed. We’re going to schedule a blood test, do an ultrasound, get a some general historical background information, and, most of all, make sure mama is in good health. The doctor will be in shortly.” She was way too perky for my liking.

  I climbed up on the table and launched into an explanation of stirrups and speculums for Bryce’s benefit. “That goes where?” “I could show you, but this is only a preliminary appointment. I don’t have to take my pants off.” “Really? It opens up this wide?”

  “Both of you behave yourselves.” Damien chided.

  Dr. Waters was a dignified gray haired woman who came highly recommended by the random ladies with babies and baby bellies, who I polled in my office building. Coincidentally, she was in the building right next door. When she walked in into the exam room, she didn’t look at all surprised or curious about our odd threesome. She smiled and held her hand out to me, “Mom, I presume?” “I guess so, yes, I’m Jocelynn Hamilton.” She moved to Damien. “These are my friends, Damien and Bryce.”

  “So nice to meet all of you. Now have a seat up here on the table and let’s chat.” She pulled up a stool and wrapped the blood pressure cuff around my arm and stuck a pulse-oximeter on my pointer finger. “When was your last menstrual period?”, she asked while pumping up the cuff. “It’s been sporadic at best over the last few years. I was on birth control for several years to keep in regular, but the hormones were giving me migraines, so I went off of them for a few years ago and then I went back on about a year ago. I had some serious stress in my life and a bad breakup so I missed some along the way.” She ripped the velcro cuff off and put it back in the cup, then typed on her keyboard. “So you don’t remember when the last one was?” I shook my head, “maybe a few months ago?”

  “This question is going to sound crass, but it’s important you answer it honestly. Do you want to carry this baby to term, and if so do you plan on keeping it?”

  I think Damien held his breath, waiting for my answer. I’d spend the last week asking myse
lf the same questions over and over again, and there was only one possible response, “Yes, of course, to both questions.” I heard his sigh of relief. “And is daddy involved?” I took a deep breath, “No, no daddy. Just me.”

  “Ok then. We’ll do an ultrasound and get a better idea of the date of conception and, more importantly, due date. I’m also going to schedule you to come back in a few weeks for a full pelvic exam and my nurse will set you up with the labs. Lie back on the table for me.” She pulled the portable ultrasound machine forward and I felt a tingle of fear and a twinge of excitement.

  I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, which were a wee bit tight and left a button imprint on my belly. She squeeze some blue goo onto my skin and rubbed it around with the tip of the wand. “Ready? Move closer gentlemen, so you can see the screen.” Bryce and Damien crowded closer and I wished to God in heaven above that it was Mick and Grey next to me.

  The steady thump, whoosh, thump, whoosh sound filled the room and a picture of what looked like a tiny alien spawn filled the screen. It was real now. It didn’t matter that my baby looked a little like E.T., it was my baby and I was already in love. I loved him or her even more than I loved the daddies that created it.

  “The baby looks good. Too early to tell the sex by just a little bit. I am going to put you at seventeen weeks. We can try again in a month, if you want to.” I nodded my head and stared at the blob on the screen.

  I don’t know how I kept my tears in check until the appointment was over, but I did. I took a free sample of prenatal vitamins and a pile of pamphlets on prenatal yoga, birthing classes and nutrition. I want this baby with every fiber of my being. I want Mick and Grey to be here. It breaks my heart that this child will never be lucky enough to know them. We made it out the door and down the hallway to the elevator before I burst into tears. Tears, unfortunately, gave way to another burst of nausea and I ducked into the ladies room. Over the retching and sobbing I couldn’t hear the conversation in the hall.